The Abuse in this World

There is a tendency within me, and within most other people, to not want to see the abuse in this world. But I do it anyway - what other option is there than to not look but at the same time allow it to exist? We have become beings who have literally turned our backs on the World, and allowed ourselves to have our self-interest be our main focus in our lives, instead of seeing that there are billions of beings in trouble, who require you and me to work towards real, practical solutions, to end this suffering once and for all. The focus must shift from self-interest to acting in the interest of SELF, as Life, which is all beings. This is the radical shift that needs to take place within each person.

The abuse that I see in this world can knock me out and stun me completely, leaving me numb. For example, I am about to watch a video of baby calves being skinned alive by some men. I find myself wanting to hide away from these atrocities at times; wanting to hide in fear and self-interest and not want to see. Fear of pain, mostly. That is the biggest fear I have, obviously.
But then I realize that within this, all that I am doing is allowing it to continue, which is completely, absolutely unacceptable, and I see this. When I go into the mode of self-interest, I also have great shame, because in that I have given into fear - I have compromised myself, I have reduced myself to limited energetic patterns of mind, and with all of this I go into a kind of depression and self-loathing. Self-loathing because in that fall into self-interest is the allowance for abuse to continue, and this is worse than facing the abuse here in this World head-on, no matter how fucked up it is, no matter how much it shocks me to the bone. I lose all self-respect and pride in my expression - all I become is a fearful, wretched thing that hides away, and does not stand. This is why courage is so important, especially in times of wanting to just shut it all out. If I do that then it will all simply continue - nothing will change, the abuse will not stop. I have to keep facing this world and not give in to anything. Not self-interest, not fear, not anything. I have to work through the shock I experience, and not use that as an excuse to hide away and "not want anything to do with it''. I am ashamed of myself for ever allowing that excuse, for allowing myself to want to shut it away, and thus allow it to continue all the same. This is not valid - it is grossly unacceptable. I have to stand regardless. I have to face this world regardless of anything, because I don't want animals and children to continue to be treated, and live, the way many do currently. It makes me sick; I can't live free if I allow this for even a moment. Facing it is hard, but it is harder to hide away, ultimately. It tears me apart the way animals are treated in this world. Self-interest is not an option.

Self-interest, it turns out, is basically the same as negligence. It is criminal. Not wanting to face this world, allowing it to continue the way it is, and the desire to look the other way, is pure cruelty - to do nothing while so many are in trouble and need assistance - they need you and me to stop our dishonesty and stand for life in all ways. If this is not done, then this is the same coldness in action that is within the murderer, or animal abuser, or rapist. It is no different. It is the same lack of care. I have proven to myself that I do actually care to the point that I can give up everything of myself in this care. I refrain most of all, though, out of pure shock as a reaction to this world - complete shock of what is here, which turns into a numbness within me. I will have to find a way to work through this, instead of wanting to shut it all out and live in self-interest in an attempt to hide. It just freaks me out, but that is no excuse to revert to hiding in any way, not wanting to see. Really unacceptable.